on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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