I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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