I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
