I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
