Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
