all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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