found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
