i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
