hell yes lets make some ravioli
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
