OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
