you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
she pinky promised me she was 18
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
