I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
