so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
did i just pee glitter
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
