and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Randomize
