I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
