i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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