im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
