I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
COCAINE IS GR8
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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