first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
pop tarts are not kleenex
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I supernannyed him into submission
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize