didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
