Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Are my feet made of real feet?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize