apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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