My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
