Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
