So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
