i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
