im six kinds of drunk right now
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
be right there i have to get my cape
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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