her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
