your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
