WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
