Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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