btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
