Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Oh god it's open bar.
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