So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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