Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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