sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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