How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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