is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
