We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Every concussion has its silver lining
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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