I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
