Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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