Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
