i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
