just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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