Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
