i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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