I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
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