People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
