eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
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