i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize