K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
