Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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