my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
