champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
