Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize