I must be too annoying 4 u.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
